A couple of years ago I met a strong longing in myself that begged me to live life more fully. Life had begun to feel a bit flat.
This longing sent me on an exploration of what it means to live life vibrantly. An engagement with life that is full, rich and flowing. An ease. A way of being that resists pushing and driving yourself. A stepping into your own pace. Honoring your body, your energy, and the interconnection of life. Connection with your loved ones, with your community, nature and with the universe. A way of being more so than a way of doing. An opening to life, a meeting of your longings, and a dancing with what comes your way.
While exploring this deeper engagement with life, I realized that what was often getting in my way were beliefs and values I had that weren’t mine. I hadn’t chosen them, yet I was shaped by them. I noticed other women were also running up against these same beliefs completely unaware.
I want to shine a light on what I noticed so we can question these beliefs, move beyond them and then choose how we want to move forward.
This is by no means a complete list, but a starting point…
- Our mind’s intelligence is valued over our body’s wisdom. We’ve lost a deep relationship with ourselves, a communication with our own needs. We’re encouraged not to honor them. Encouraged to push through, disregard and then we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and burned out.Our culture has neglected to teach us the skills to be in relationship with and support of our body. We don’t hear our body until it’s screaming at us. When we live embodied we access our full spectrum of our senses and emotions, and we can fully connect with others and that which is around us. Otherwise, we aren’t able to fully engage with life and things start to feel muted.
- Working and doing is valued highly over resting and being. There isn’t time to rest, right! You’re lazy if you rest. You can’t even slow down if you want to, everything will fall apart. So you push through.We manage our time into the smallest increments to fit it all in. We try to be as efficient and productive as possible, but we never feel caught up. We hit the pillow at the end of the night hard, exhausted, only to circle around and do it again tomorrow.When we honor our body and energy, allowing for rest and meeting our body’s needs, we’re actually able to do things quicker.
- Fun comes after the task is done. We are taught to believe this, but it’s a lie that keeps us from fully enjoying our day. Two of the top five regrets of those dying are I wish I hadn’t worked so hard and I wish I had let myself be happy.**Putting off your passion, pleasures, and curiosities until you get this one thing done, sacrifices your enjoyment. Pleasure and play are the way.
- Linear is valued over cyclical. Our culture loves to rush to the outcome over savoring the experience of getting there, which often isn’t a straight trajectory forward, but rather filled with side streets, detours and surprising moments you could never dream up.There is so much missed opportunity to fully engage with life if we rush forward. Instead finding our own pace and enjoyment of these middle moments is key. Most of life are these middle moments.
If you’re feeling a call to explore a new way of living beyond the cultural norms, but you feel you’d like some support, here’s how you can work with me.
**From the work of Bronnie Ware: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying